Adoption: The Answers (ii)

It was a monday when I visited Akshaya Children’s Home in Bangalore. It is approved by the government for adoption. So, I found it to be a place to get reliable information.

As I entered I saw a white cradle hung at the enterance with a bell, like saying, “come and put your baby here and we’ll take care of it”. Then a bit further, I saw a table full of  some 8 month olds sitting around the table on chairs and a lady playing with them. They were such adorable angels! All of them were girls. Then we went to the office, where a lady told that all social workers were in a meeting and it is a busy day so we would have to wait for a while to meet any one of them.

So, we were waiting and I saw a a class being conducted. A while later one of the social workers, came to attend to us. I spoke to her. Looked like they are not allowed to give away information on like that freely, because they need to check if what they would say will be published or put up anywhere. I did not inform her about the website for the fear that she might not give any information at all. So, this is all what she could give in her limited time:

  •  Who can adopt?

The couples who want to adopt must be married at least for 2 years. 

If a single mother is adopting, she needs to be 30- 35 years old. For single men to adopt, they need to be at least 30 years old. Single parents can adopt children of their own sex, that is, single women can adopt only daughters and single men can adopt only sons. They cannot adopt babies, but children above 2-3 years old.

The number of couples willing to adopt children is more than the children in the orphanage (as per the information given). So, they would encourage parents without the capacity to bear children to adopt first.

  • Is there an age limit?

To adopt kids below 1 yr, the oldest spouse must be below 45 years. Then with the increase in age of the adopter, the age of the adoptable child also increases proportionately.

  • Finacial matters?

The minimum monthly income they are looking at Rs. 10 000

Religion matters…

It is easy to adopt by a Hindu couple as once a child is adopted, the child is treated like their own kid. While for any others (christians, muslims etc…), once you adopt a child, you are just guardians or foster parents to the kid. Which means, you have to write a will for the child, to support the child in case anything happens to the adopting parents. Moreover, the adopted child will not enjoy any facilities provided by the government as you are just like guardians to the kid.

  • Can you chose your child?

You can specify the age and sex of the child that you prefer to adopt, and you might be even shown one or two kids, based on availability, but no choices beyond that.

  • What is the basic procedure?
  1. To be kept in mind is that, couples can adopt only from the place of residence. So, if you are in Delhi, you can adopt from Delhi, not from Bangalore.
  2. To follow the procedures, the couple need to register with VCA- Voluntary Coordinating Agency. They will guide the parents through the adoption process. They will also direct the couples to adoption agencies like Akshaya Children’s Home.
  3. Then the social worker from the agency will conduct a home visit.
  4. There might be a waiting period as the number of parents who want to adopt is more than the kids available (so they say). Once the child and adoption is finalised, a medical examination is conducted for the child. The couple need to submit their medical reports as well.
  5. Follow-up home visits take place as and when the agency will be able to conduct one.

21 Responses

  1. sarah says:

    Ezee123, it will be certainly after a lot of thoughts and marriage. Say, about 4-5 years after marriage for sure.

  2. ezee123 says:

    Now when is the adoption, if any ?

  3. sarah says:

    Srinivas, it is nice to know that you want to adopt a girl child. However, as far as I am aware, if you are single, you can adopt only a son and not a daughter. I am yet to find out more on this matter. As far as adopting an yet to be born child goes, I am not sure of the procudures as we are discussing more about adopting orphaned children.

  4. srinivasa rao says:

    interested to adopt a new born(preferably girl child) or yet to be born child. is it possible?

  5. rocksea says:

    deepa: but , didnt get the bit abt the religion .. why is it so for non-Hindus ?

    and what if you are adopting a 6 yr old kid ? i mean what if Hindus are adopting a 6 yr old Christian kid , then what happens ?
    And what abt the mother tongue ?

    deepa, the difference in adoption for different religions, as sarah (canada) said, could be due to the inheritance law. then about adopting kids from a different religion, does the kids at adoption centers have an official religion? i think they’ll be absorbed into whatever religion their foster parents follow?? sarah can check these details next time. about mother tongue, sarah had mentioned that couples can adopt only from the place of residence. so it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

    prem, anoop, nice hearing from you 🙂

    sarah (can), isn’t it enough that you show you have the heart to adopt and that you can afford one more child financially? also, isn’t it easier for NRIs to adopt from india rather than for indians living in india?

  6. sarah says:

    Rocksea.. tht was really nice of you..to read my blog..it really feels good when I know, people read abt one illeterate widow..who taught me so much abt life.. will change the profile so u can leave ur comment
    BTW abt Christian parents being only guardians, is because of the inheritance law, which are different for hindu and muslim parents.. Even the last time I was in India, I tried to adopt a child and again the beaurocracy was tough to tackle.. They needed to know why I want to adopt, when I have 3 kids of my own. Now I am told that i won’t be able to love all the kids equally..

  7. Geetha says:

    I too wonder why wouldn’t a Christian be considered a legal parent. Isn’t it just the same as a Hindu adopting a child.

    Good luck guys..

  8. Anoop says:

    Very nicely written post. Adoption as a practice should be encouraged as much as possible.

  9. prem says:

    this is a good one, i am not piling up more words- the effort is obvious to all who read.
    best
    prem

  10. rocksea says:

    sarah, that is a moving account from your life.. something which keeps you qunechless,,

    hey, i have been reading your whole blog, every article.. and they are filled with life, i wanted to comment on them but it is open to blogspot users only. keep it open so that anyone can share their feelings if they want to. you can put word verification if you want to avoid spam.

  11. sarah says:

    When I was working in Bangalore, i used to visit the orphanage run by Sister’s of Charity. There was a little girl I was so fond of. Each time she would ask me, when are you taking me home?
    When i asked if i could adopt.. they told me no.
    reason
    i am young, single.
    One of the worker there suggested that i should get married and try to have my own kids!!!
    i was woking as a doctor then, and financially was doing ok.. I could have given that child a home and love..Yet the beaurocracy makes it so hard..
    I often wonder what happend to that little child.

  12. prasad says:

    thts great.gud luk

  13. rocksea says:

    prasad, i always had this inspiration. just that now i am able to pursue the elementary level of it by studying it. also this topic depends on the ideas of one’s partner as well. since sarah has similar ideas, i am encouraged.

  14. Deepa says:

    Hey !

    I think adoption is a freat idea .. of course , i dont have any idea abt the difficulties faced in raising an adopted child … but still think itz a great idea.

    🙂

    infact , i admire Sushmita Sen so much for that .

    but , didnt get the bit abt the religion .. why is it so for non-Hindus ?

    and what if you are adopting a 6 yr old kid ? i mean what if Hindus are adopting a 6 yr old Christian kid , then what happens ?
    And what abt the mother tongue ?

  15. prasad says:

    gud effort .. I wonder vats the inspiration for u to take up ths topic..but I c ur takin a lot of effort in tht way..thts nice 🙂
    u advised me 2 get sum fresh air 🙂 may b ths summer.I was tired of emptiness inside me so I wonder if sum thin idle wud do gud for me 🙂

  16. sarah says:

    Pidiyana, as far as I have investigated, single men can also adopt, but only sons. I am yet to find out if this applicable to single men from India too since I am not too sure.

  17. sarah says:

    Roxy dear, I am not sure why Christian parents can be mere guardians to the adopted child. We are yet to check and Silverine adds that this is being challenged. So, we can hope for the best. I know it can be a concern at certain points of time. Like I had spoken to you, my cousin was also interested in adopting a child. But, her husband is a diplomat and goes about trotting countries as a part of his job. He and his family is supported by the government. But if you are guardians to the adopted child, and not legal parents, the government will not support the kid in any way. This matters most to those who are under government service and need to be abroad. Why? Well, giving an example, things like education can be very expensive abroad and if the government does not pay for the adopted kid, you will have to support the kid on your own and if you are not capable of it, you will have to resort to sending the kid to a “not so good” or “poorer” school. In my cousin’s case, she had her own child too. But, the thought of sending her own kid to a good school and sending her adopted kid to poorer school did not appeal to her in any way. So, she decided to sponsor and not adopt. According to me, it is not much of an immediate matter when the parents are in India. But we need to ponder over it carefully…that’s true.

  18. Pidiyana says:

    Was wondering… So, if you are a single woman between 30-35 years of age, you can adopt a child. What about a single man?

  19. silverine says:

    I think the law regarding Xians being mere guardians is being challenged in the Supreme Court. Let’s wait for a postivie verdict. And best of luck to you both!

  20. rocksea says:

    great effort my dear. that is a lot of information!!

    you’ve mentiond for christians, “once you adopt a child, you are just guardians or foster parents to the kid.” That is a matter of concern.. When we adopt, we want to be accepted as parents as such. Anyways, this is according to the ‘Christian Wards and Guardian Act’ which i mentioned before. Maybe they have brought some changes to it. we have to enquire more. Also, why is it like that??? Any ideas?

  1. August 31, 2006

    […] Adoption: The Answers (iii) […]

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