Adoption : The Answers (i)

Answers to previous post on Adoption

1. Reasons to adopt:

According to me, I have been blessed with a home and able parents. There are many ‘not so’ fortunate kids out there who want to have a family, someone to assist, guide and love. If intentions are good and strong, fortunate ones like me can always look at giving at least one of them a home, guidance and love. This could be my way of thanking life for all the good things I have in life, like my love Roxy (in fact, he is the best to happen! I love him so much!).

2. Procedures for adoption by christian family:

Progress so far:

a. Met Sis. Carmel in St. Patrick’s Orphanage in Bangalore. She informed that they are not into adoption and as per the rules of the Church, information on adoption is not given out freely. I was asked to contact Fr. Jayanathan who might be of some help, but only after taking an appointment.
b. Then, she suggested a place called Shishu Bhavan in Bangalore where information on all this can be obtained, but I have also learnt that they are not so keen giving kids on adoption by Indians, but by parents of foreign origin. Weird! But they must have their own reasons.
c. I also got to know of a place called Vatsalyam in Bangalore, but yet to get more information on it.

3. Psychological problems when you have own child and adopted child in the same family.

 According to me, there should be a concrete and valid reason on why a couple is opting to adopt a child inspite of  them being medically fit to be parents themselves.

If the couple choses to adopt and have a child of their own, the following problems might crop up (mostly owing to natural human behaviour) :

a. Naturally, a tendency to pay more attention to their own kid than the adopted one, may show up in the behaviour of the parents.
b.The couple needs to be financially strong to support the adopted child and their own, else, there would be problems on that front too. That is, spending more on own kid and not giving equal importance to both the kids or, giving best opportunities to own kid than the adopted kid.
c. The adopted child might sense a feeling of negelect due to the above and if not handled properly, might lead to unacceptable behaviour.
d. The adopted child’s mentality will also come into picture depending on which she/he is not to be told about the fact that she/he is adopted. But, is that legal in India to keep the fact hidden from the adopted? (needs to be researched)
e. Parents might face questions from society on why child is being adopted.Indian society does not know how to mind their own lives, but believes in minding everyone else’s lives more 😀
f. Society’s pressure can hit the children’s psychology, mostly the adopted kid’s psychology, leading to complicated problems, which might in turn be a problem to the parents.
g. Any problem detected in the child (psycological/ physical/ others) in a later stage, can lead the parents to slowly abandon  the interest in that child.

It is necessary that the parents are consciously aware of these problems and maturely decide to adopt a child ‘coz in a bid to give life, they should not spoil one (or many). They should be strong enough to face any problems that might arise due to this adoption- there can be many. Then, it is about how tenderly you care for the child as your own, and in fact, more than your own child. This can happen if you truly find the love to adopt a child and give a life to it in your heart.

20 Responses

  1. rocksea says:

    yes flyaway mind, maybe psychology is one of the most important factor one has to deal with here.. rest are mostly formalities..

  2. rocksea says:

    hey sibish, thatz news to me hehe 🙂

    so soon our home will be filled with kids?!

  3. Sibish says:

    Great 🙂
    Btw… Rocksea… your brother too thinks the same way…
    starange coincidence right?

  4. Sibish says:

    Great 🙂
    Btw Rocksea… your brother too thinks the same way…
    strange coincidence right?

  5. really touched.and u have deeply analysed the psychology too..wondeful 2 see u putting ur great thoughts into action..pray u succeed

  6. great job.keep it up:)

  7. sarah says:

    Anu, Maya,
    yes, we will be trying to find out as much information as possible and to our best for the purpose. It will be put up on the blog. We will not be hurrying in any way though. We will put up the information provided to us and the source of infomation as well for the benefit of the visitors to our blog. It is going to be great that we could provide as much information as possible for a good cause as this. Thanks Anu for the wishes. Maya, I hope the information you will find here will be of some help to you to decide on whether to adopt. Cool!

  8. am thinking about adopting too

  9. Anu says:

    Hey Roxy n Sarah,

    A great thought for a noble cause!!!
    When opting for sponsoring a child make sure that the child is getting all the funds you guys are putting in, as there is corruption in these things too. Better to check out from the known sources in these matters.

    Do mention on the blog the rules and regulations for adoption as it is not available readily.

    Good Luck 🙂

  10. sarah says:

    Thanks Geetha For the encouragement! It is as much required as our own determination. 🙂

  11. Geetha says:

    You guys are really sweet. It really takes courage to do what you guys wanna do. Good for you. God will be with you always…

  12. rocksea says:

    Sarah, so whenever you get time, we should see if you could get any documents, legal articles referring to that. May be for adoption, the agency or institute will take care of such things and let us know only the external factors. Yet, it is good to know how it is officially put down.

    Then, the indian Vs foreign factor.

  13. sarah says:

    Theresa, it is fortunate in our case that Roxy and I have common reasons on why we want to adopt. ( Better still, I can say, my future husband, Roxy, is fine with the idea 😀 ). So, this move towards adopting a child is not only a serious thing with us, but the common reason makes it worthwhile, inspite of knowing that it is not all that easy and a hugely responsible task. cheers!

  14. Theresa says:

    lol This is such a sweet love story from what I’ve read. 🙂 And I think that adoption is a very resposible and caring thing to do. I’ve also thought of adopting my own child before. But only if my future husband would comply with the idea, so I’m uncertain yet.

  15. rocksea says:

    Sarah, I love you Sarah. The reasons you have for adopting is the same as mine. Millions of children are out there, without a family, without a father or mother. Why can’t we be their father and mother?

    We were privileged in life and now we are on our own feet, we have the chance to help the underprivileged. In a developing country like India, we have the responsibility for that.

    pidiyana, yes sponsoring is an option if we won’t be able to adopt a child. Through sponsoring we may be able to look to the well being of more kids. Through adoption we may be able to give a family to kids.. Sevagram seems to be a nice place. Thanks for the info!

    Then, the project i mentioned to you sometime back was kind of sponsoring project. There are a lot of tags between bloggers on several things. We are in touch with a lot of bloggers. Why don’t we start a chain reaction on the internet for good causes like this, to sponsor kids? Let us develop the idea with time so that it doesn’t die without a proper base.

    Marlin, happy for your blessings 🙂

    Hope to get more info on your uncle’s adoption. Since your uncle is also NRI, and since Sarah mentioned that adoption is not encouraged for Indians residing in India, I am keen to know more about that. The reason for the aforesaid problem could be that Indian society is yet to treat adoption as normal.

    There is this ‘Christian Wards and Guardian Act’ which may provide details on adoption. Marlin, some time you can get some related files from your uncle 🙂

  16. sarah says:

    Pidiyana, it’ll be great if you can give as much details as you can yaar! Looks like a good place to get info from, more since Marlin is also mentioning it. Well, more work to do…

    Marlin, it was encouraging that you found that we will rock as parents…really. But, that’ll happen only if we are aware of all the possible problems we could face and be ready for it, the reason why we started off with an interrogation like this…have we missed out on any, that you guys might be thinking of?

  17. Marlin says:

    (hey Roxy…now i got wot “answers” u were referring to….)
    well Sarah, the points u hav cited r vry much prime…but i think in ur n Roxy’s case, most of the points (in the 3rd answer) dont hold valid…cuz i m sure u guys wil rock as parents…as far as wot i can surmise, urs is a thought-on, interrogated n vry much inclined decision..n ny help required i m alwez thr…God Bless U…

  18. Marlin says:

    hey…the place mentioned by ‘pidiyana’…Sevagram…thts whr my uncle adopted the child from…

  19. pidiyana says:

    Whoa! thats quite a lot of work you both did there! Now, just in case you arent thinking of a full time adoption, and instead if you opt for sponsoring a child, I may be of some help to you both.

    I know of a palce in Pothy, Kottayam, that will be only too happy to help you out in this cause. It is a children’s home by the name of “Sevagram”. If you need details, let me know.

  1. August 29, 2006

    […] Adoption: The Answers (iii) […]

Leave a Reply to rocksea Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *