Answers to previous post on Adoption

1. Reasons to adopt:

According to me, I have been blessed with a home and able parents. There are many ‘not so’ fortunate kids out there who want to have a family, someone to assist, guide and love. If intentions are good and strong, fortunate ones like me can always look at giving at least one of them a home, guidance and love. This could be my way of thanking life for all the good things I have in life, like my love Roxy (in fact, he is the best to happen! I love him so much!).

2. Procedures for adoption by christian family:

Progress so far:

a. Met Sis. Carmel in St. Patrick’s Orphanage in Bangalore. She informed that they are not into adoption and as per the rules of the Church, information on adoption is not given out freely. I was asked to contact Fr. Jayanathan who might be of some help, but only after taking an appointment.
b. Then, she suggested a place called Shishu Bhavan in Bangalore where information on all this can be obtained, but I have also learnt that they are not so keen giving kids on adoption by Indians, but by parents of foreign origin. Weird! But they must have their own reasons.
c. I also got to know of a place called Vatsalyam in Bangalore, but yet to get more information on it.

3. Psychological problems when you have own child and adopted child in the same family.

 According to me, there should be a concrete and valid reason on why a couple is opting to adopt a child inspite of  them being medically fit to be parents themselves.

If the couple choses to adopt and have a child of their own, the following problems might crop up (mostly owing to natural human behaviour) :

a. Naturally, a tendency to pay more attention to their own kid than the adopted one, may show up in the behaviour of the parents.
b.The couple needs to be financially strong to support the adopted child and their own, else, there would be problems on that front too. That is, spending more on own kid and not giving equal importance to both the kids or, giving best opportunities to own kid than the adopted kid.
c. The adopted child might sense a feeling of negelect due to the above and if not handled properly, might lead to unacceptable behaviour.
d. The adopted child’s mentality will also come into picture depending on which she/he is not to be told about the fact that she/he is adopted. But, is that legal in India to keep the fact hidden from the adopted? (needs to be researched)
e. Parents might face questions from society on why child is being adopted.Indian society does not know how to mind their own lives, but believes in minding everyone else’s lives more 😀
f. Society’s pressure can hit the children’s psychology, mostly the adopted kid’s psychology, leading to complicated problems, which might in turn be a problem to the parents.
g. Any problem detected in the child (psycological/ physical/ others) in a later stage, can lead the parents to slowly abandon  the interest in that child.

It is necessary that the parents are consciously aware of these problems and maturely decide to adopt a child ‘coz in a bid to give life, they should not spoil one (or many). They should be strong enough to face any problems that might arise due to this adoption- there can be many. Then, it is about how tenderly you care for the child as your own, and in fact, more than your own child. This can happen if you truly find the love to adopt a child and give a life to it in your heart.

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